Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
