Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
