He had one of those small greek statue penises
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
