Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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