3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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