Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
