I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
