also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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