And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
