i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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