when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
