Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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