And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
