...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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