ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
