We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
