Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
