I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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