he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
