just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
