it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
