Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My ass is underappreciated
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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