I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
How external is "for external use only"?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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