its not stalking. its research.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
whose ass print is on the piano?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
