I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
