Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
