Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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