Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Success! We fucked roommates!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
