u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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