how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
