I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
