Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
