i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
MIDGETS
????
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
