he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We named our party play list daddy issues
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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