she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
