I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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