Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
