so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
