Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
