no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can Purell be used as lube?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize