He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
