new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
