Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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