I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
