So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
