for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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