it was like eating out sand paper
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
