Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize