I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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