shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
then he tried to convert me to islam
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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