My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
