Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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