people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize