if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
