When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
