i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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