I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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