areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
