Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
