At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
