I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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