I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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